In Love with Who Again?

The following is a guest post from Lindsey Tramuta. Lindsey and I had a great conversation about this very topic a couple weeks ago and I’m thrilled she decided to share her thoughts here on Life Without Pants. Lindsey is the creator of Lost In Cheeseland. She is a Paris transplant from Philadelphia, married to a Frenchman and on a permanent quest to understand the idiosyncrasies of the French. In real life, she is in charge of Marketing & Communications for an online multi-brand boutique. Check her out!

I can’t explain it to him. I’ve tried, and I sense a gleam in his eyes that leads me to believe he is making an effort to understand. Still, my growing addiction is just far beyond comprehension to him.

Oh wait, you thought I meant…? No, I’m not addicted to drugs. Something far worse. I’m afflicted with the same thing plaguing the majority of gen y – the internet. But more specifically, social media. I don’t even like that term anymore, social media, because it somehow implies real socializing. Not to minimize the virtual relationships I’ve developed over twitter, blogs and subsequently through email, but it’s not socializing in the intended sense of the term, especially not in the way my husband interprets it.

What’s the value of Social Media?

The value of social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook is undeniable and has been argued into the ground. I can show my husband all of Mashable’s articles about social media and explain to him that these tools really do make us more productive, but no matter what I say or how I frame it, I’m in love with my computer in his eyes. Better yet, I’m more interested in spending my evenings (after a long day behind the computer mind you) reading and tweeting and writing and blogging and wedging myself further into this world that he has no interest in entering. Can I blame him for feeling this way? Absolutely not. I know, however, that it is not about finding other people more interesting or placing more value in people I don’t physically know than in him.

It’s about learning – about myself and others and pulling inspiration from the hundreds of comments and articles posted daily across many media platforms. I don’t think I’ve learned this much about a myriad of topics even when I was in school which has convinced me that there is something to be said for self-education. But at what cost?

I start to feel strange when I haven’t checked twitter, email, Facebook and the blogs I follow. There is a sense of discomfort (withdrawal) that is very hard to describe but it exists. I’m foolishly convinced I’ll miss out on something of colossal importance which is thus the root of the problem. For so long I worried about missing something in the US since I live in Paris, be it with my family and friends or even national events, and now I’m worried about missing something online. The point was certainly not to swap one issue for another.

I don’t want to feel inhibited by the internet…

It has a luring force and community spirit but it does not take the place of outings with family and friends. Internet Addiction Disorder has already been established as a reality and interferes significantly with daily life. I would not say it interferes negatively with my daily life but it certainly occupies much of my time and energy, apparently to the detriment of my relationship.

In January, Matt did a post about how every blogger should have a non-blogger spouse, and I agree completely. In theory, the inactive social media user reminds us that while it’s rewarding to develop relationships made virtually (and important for networking), it’s face-to-face time that should take precedence. So long as balance is upheld with sufficient non-virtual bonding time, the non-blogger should be supportive and encouraging of the blogging spouse’s endeavors. In all honesty, I have yet to find this balance. I know that my husband is overjoyed that I have found my niche on and off line in Paris and that all the reading and writing I do makes me happy, but he feels rejected and cast aside. More than anything I wish he could share the fulfillment and celebrate my successes with me as I would with him.

Passions and hobbies are as important to individual development as they are to the health of a relationship but not when they usurp the time you spend together. I wish he would be more involved in and receptive to my passions and he wishes I would step away from the computer and focus on him. I believe I should be able to do both, the trick is finding that balance.

How have you had to make concessions in your inter-personal relationships vis à vis your blogging and social media use?


68 Responses
  • paris (im)perfect Reply

    Great post, Lindsey! This is certainly an issue a lot of people deal with. I feel that same sense of withdrawal – and I realized it was a huge problem when I would sometimes check my email and online accounts before even talking to my husband! I’m not even a big user of social media because I’m afraid of where it might lead, but I see that the time I do spend is already growing more addictive.

    I am lucky in that my husband likes being online, too, but for very different reasons. He doesn’t speak English well, so he doesn’t even know what I’m reading or writing online – that can be a barrier! (Though it also means I have my own independent domain, which can also be helpful in a relationship).

    What helps me is to remember that I need to be out there in the world having interesting experiences in order to have material to write about. I invite my husband to as much as I can so we can share in those experiences together – and then I come home and blog about it :)

    Good luck finding the balance! I think it’s an ongoing process!
    -Sion

  • paris (im)perfect Reply

    Great post, Lindsey! This is certainly an issue a lot of people deal with. I feel that same sense of withdrawal – and I realized it was a huge problem when I would sometimes check my email and online accounts before even talking to my husband! I’m not even a big user of social media because I’m afraid of where it might lead, but I see that the time I do spend is already growing more addictive.

    I am lucky in that my husband likes being online, too, but for very different reasons. He doesn’t speak English well, so he doesn’t even know what I’m reading or writing online – that can be a barrier! (Though it also means I have my own independent domain, which can also be helpful in a relationship).

    What helps me is to remember that I need to be out there in the world having interesting experiences in order to have material to write about. I invite my husband to as much as I can so we can share in those experiences together – and then I come home and blog about it :)

    Good luck finding the balance! I think it’s an ongoing process!
    -Sion

  • Lindsey Reply

    YES it IS an ongoing process! I know exactly what you mean about checking email before even saying hello to your husband. So many times my hubby will say to me “we haven’t even said 3 words to each other this evening”. It’s not good but it takes a concerted effort on my part to pull myself away when really it should be the reverse….

  • Lindsey Reply

    YES it IS an ongoing process! I know exactly what you mean about checking email before even saying hello to your husband. So many times my hubby will say to me “we haven’t even said 3 words to each other this evening”. It’s not good but it takes a concerted effort on my part to pull myself away when really it should be the reverse….

  • Akash Sharma Reply

    Brilliant Thoughts Lindsey, I think all of us should take time out for the physical world as well and not only to chill out another prominent reason is to cultivate ideas as most of them come offline.The best way to deal with this addiction is to set time for doing things as in it’s not necessary that you will right a blog post only on your blogging platform, carry a notepad and look for some cool places to sit and write.

    • Lindsey Reply

      The notepad idea is a great one and I often feel more inspired when I’m riding on the metro and I write it down as it comes to me. Sitting in front of a screen doesn’t necessarily help the ideas flow!

      Time out is key but the challenge is not wondering what’s going on ONline when you’re OFFline.

  • Akash Sharma Reply

    Brilliant Thoughts Lindsey, I think all of us should take time out for the physical world as well and not only to chill out another prominent reason is to cultivate ideas as most of them come offline.The best way to deal with this addiction is to set time for doing things as in it’s not necessary that you will right a blog post only on your blogging platform, carry a notepad and look for some cool places to sit and write.

    • Lindsey Reply

      The notepad idea is a great one and I often feel more inspired when I’m riding on the metro and I write it down as it comes to me. Sitting in front of a screen doesn’t necessarily help the ideas flow!

      Time out is key but the challenge is not wondering what’s going on ONline when you’re OFFline.

  • Rebecca Odell Reply

    Hi Lindsey,

    I cannot even begin to explain how timely your post is. My boyfriend and I JUST had this discussion last night.

    I am “plagued” with a smartphone; therefore, I’m used to being connected. 24/7. 365. The bf doesn’t understand why I feel the need to randomly check my e-mail, Twitter or Facebook when I have a spare moment.

    I know it’s hard for him to understand, so I can’t blame him. I guess I’m just living in a very connected world, and I enjoy knowing what’s going on. He checks his e-mail once or twice a day; I check mine several times per hour. We just have very different media habits.

    In the meantime, I’ll try not to check my social media sites during dates, and he’ll try to be more accepting of my “connected” ways.

    Thanks again!
    Rebecca

    • Lindsey Reply

      Rebecca! I feel like you and I are just two among millions of people who have had similar conversations with their loved ones. Either you feel the virtual pull or you don’t. There are extremes to everything and my husband has his, off the computer. But it’s the idea of finding a way to accept each other’s passions and learn from each other.

      I think that my reluctance to get an iphone or blackberry has actually less to do with the cost of the plan, or changing technologies but the fact that I’ll be even more sucked in to a world I already need to step out of more often. Would you ever consider giving up your smartphone for this reason?

      Glad you related :) We’ll figure out the balance eventually!

  • Rebecca Odell Reply

    Hi Lindsey,

    I cannot even begin to explain how timely your post is. My boyfriend and I JUST had this discussion last night.

    I am “plagued” with a smartphone; therefore, I’m used to being connected. 24/7. 365. The bf doesn’t understand why I feel the need to randomly check my e-mail, Twitter or Facebook when I have a spare moment.

    I know it’s hard for him to understand, so I can’t blame him. I guess I’m just living in a very connected world, and I enjoy knowing what’s going on. He checks his e-mail once or twice a day; I check mine several times per hour. We just have very different media habits.

    In the meantime, I’ll try not to check my social media sites during dates, and he’ll try to be more accepting of my “connected” ways.

    Thanks again!
    Rebecca

    • Lindsey Reply

      Rebecca! I feel like you and I are just two among millions of people who have had similar conversations with their loved ones. Either you feel the virtual pull or you don’t. There are extremes to everything and my husband has his, off the computer. But it’s the idea of finding a way to accept each other’s passions and learn from each other.

      I think that my reluctance to get an iphone or blackberry has actually less to do with the cost of the plan, or changing technologies but the fact that I’ll be even more sucked in to a world I already need to step out of more often. Would you ever consider giving up your smartphone for this reason?

      Glad you related :) We’ll figure out the balance eventually!

  • Srinivas Rao Reply

    Hey Lindsey,

    Great points here. I think balance is really key. I know what you mean about the withdrawal. I wonder if I’m missing anything but then I’ve realized that when I get into that mode I don’t really get much done. When I decide that I’m not missing anything I end up having more quality interactions and producing better work. As far as balance, I’m all about disconnecting for a few hours every day. I think it’s really important to maintain some semblance of a normal life.

    • Lindsey Reply

      It’s crucial to force yourself to disconnect, that’s exactly what I try to do! It proves challenging, but that’s the goal!

  • Srinivas Rao Reply

    Hey Lindsey,

    Great points here. I think balance is really key. I know what you mean about the withdrawal. I wonder if I’m missing anything but then I’ve realized that when I get into that mode I don’t really get much done. When I decide that I’m not missing anything I end up having more quality interactions and producing better work. As far as balance, I’m all about disconnecting for a few hours every day. I think it’s really important to maintain some semblance of a normal life.

    • Lindsey Reply

      It’s crucial to force yourself to disconnect, that’s exactly what I try to do! It proves challenging, but that’s the goal!

  • Derek Reply

    Is it really an “addiction?” Personally, when I think of addiction, I think of drugs, alcohol, or anything that negatively impacts your life in some way.

    This may be true for some people. More specifically, the people who fool around on facebook when they’re supposed to be doing work or tweet while they have other responsibilities.

    …But for other people, social media may look like an addiction because of its prevalence throughout the day, but what if you’re using it to build your business? Is it still an addiction?

    Personally, I don’t think so. Instead, it’s the cost of running an online business. What do you think?

    • Lindsey Reply

      I believe it is an addiction. The withdrawal I’ve felt when I’ve been away from the computer too long, haven’t read x y and z, haven’t checked email, haven’t seen what’s being discussed on twitter indicates to me some sort of dependency. HOWEVER, this may not be true for everyone!

      I must say, I also am online all day for work, promoting a business on social media, connecting with bloggers and journalists, so there is little disconnect for me between the professional and the private. If I worked with my hands all day and then went home and spent time on the computer, I think my feelings would be a bit different!

  • Derek Reply

    Is it really an “addiction?” Personally, when I think of addiction, I think of drugs, alcohol, or anything that negatively impacts your life in some way.

    This may be true for some people. More specifically, the people who fool around on facebook when they’re supposed to be doing work or tweet while they have other responsibilities.

    …But for other people, social media may look like an addiction because of its prevalence throughout the day, but what if you’re using it to build your business? Is it still an addiction?

    Personally, I don’t think so. Instead, it’s the cost of running an online business. What do you think?

    • Lindsey Reply

      I believe it is an addiction. The withdrawal I’ve felt when I’ve been away from the computer too long, haven’t read x y and z, haven’t checked email, haven’t seen what’s being discussed on twitter indicates to me some sort of dependency. HOWEVER, this may not be true for everyone!

      I must say, I also am online all day for work, promoting a business on social media, connecting with bloggers and journalists, so there is little disconnect for me between the professional and the private. If I worked with my hands all day and then went home and spent time on the computer, I think my feelings would be a bit different!

  • Stephen Eugene Adams Reply

    Lindsey, You hit the nail right on the head. Last week, I was very busy with my business and I got very behind in keeping up with my social media. At first, I felt guilty, then as time went on, I felt a relief when I realized that I did not have to go back and catch up. I could just pick up in the here and now. Unfortuneatly, I am now on a long weekend in California and I have spent way too much time keeping up between walks and beach time. Thanks for the insights.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Sometimes those breaks are refreshing and help us to remotivate! Now if only the breaks would happen more frequently for sanity’s sake !

  • Stephen Eugene Adams Reply

    Lindsey, You hit the nail right on the head. Last week, I was very busy with my business and I got very behind in keeping up with my social media. At first, I felt guilty, then as time went on, I felt a relief when I realized that I did not have to go back and catch up. I could just pick up in the here and now. Unfortuneatly, I am now on a long weekend in California and I have spent way too much time keeping up between walks and beach time. Thanks for the insights.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Sometimes those breaks are refreshing and help us to remotivate! Now if only the breaks would happen more frequently for sanity’s sake !

  • georgette Reply

    I love and live on the internet as well. I use my time to promote, network, learn, be inspired, discover artists, and share in adventures.

    I love and live with an artist 24/7, and find that while we are both equally engaged in our worlds, we both have desire to find time for each other. It’s gotta be a two way effort. Giving and doing without expectation, sharing, enjoying, making the most out of every single day.

    life is balance, and if we can put the effort in to establish and maintain that balance, then everybody wins

    great post!

    • Lindsey Reply

      Thank you Georgette, I appreciate it. It sounds like I have the same goals as you! You’re right, if both people are heavily engaged in their own worlds, time has to be devoted to face to face, activities. What IS hard is when you’re the one constantly reading, writing, learning and networking and your partner is less involved, not as interested and therefore doesn’t understand what the interest is.

      The balance is exactly what I’m looking/hoping to find!

  • georgette Reply

    I love and live on the internet as well. I use my time to promote, network, learn, be inspired, discover artists, and share in adventures.

    I love and live with an artist 24/7, and find that while we are both equally engaged in our worlds, we both have desire to find time for each other. It’s gotta be a two way effort. Giving and doing without expectation, sharing, enjoying, making the most out of every single day.

    life is balance, and if we can put the effort in to establish and maintain that balance, then everybody wins

    great post!

    • Lindsey Reply

      Thank you Georgette, I appreciate it. It sounds like I have the same goals as you! You’re right, if both people are heavily engaged in their own worlds, time has to be devoted to face to face, activities. What IS hard is when you’re the one constantly reading, writing, learning and networking and your partner is less involved, not as interested and therefore doesn’t understand what the interest is.

      The balance is exactly what I’m looking/hoping to find!

  • Linda Reply

    The way the Internet has grown over the last decade is just an amazing thing. And while social media may not be socializing in the “intended” sense of the word (that was for Cédrik), it does help establish connections that help us grow our world views and our businesses. Hey, if it weren’t for social media, we could never have met up for tea in Paris. Right?

    • Lindsey Reply

      OF COURSE! That’s what I try to explain to him. Had it not been for twitter, I would never have met you, or Matt, or many others, for that matter. It’s crucial to business development as much as it is for networking. But its addictive quality makes finding a balance all the more challenging!

  • Linda Reply

    The way the Internet has grown over the last decade is just an amazing thing. And while social media may not be socializing in the “intended” sense of the word (that was for Cédrik), it does help establish connections that help us grow our world views and our businesses. Hey, if it weren’t for social media, we could never have met up for tea in Paris. Right?

    • Lindsey Reply

      OF COURSE! That’s what I try to explain to him. Had it not been for twitter, I would never have met you, or Matt, or many others, for that matter. It’s crucial to business development as much as it is for networking. But its addictive quality makes finding a balance all the more challenging!

  • Aniutek Reply

    That’s one of the reasons why some criticise internet and social media, it’s probably their biggest argument- social media are anti-social. I guess there will always be two camps- pro and against. Those who are against will tell stories about broken relationships, lost friendships and jobs- all because of social media. Those in the ‘pro’ camp will give a long list of examples of re- newed friendships, re- activated relationships and promotions at work. As you said, there have to be balance… And one have to be responsible and, what’s more important, reasonable while using social media. I’m not feeling great saying that, maybe because I’m here writing and my partner is preparing dinner after all day at work.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Well I’ve managed to stay very social offline as well, so in that sense I’ve balanced this “addiction” quite well. But the bit about your partner preparing dinner after a long day at work while you’re writing a comment online reflects precisely my dilemma. As is true with anything in life, there is a good and a bad. Any passion can lead to unhealthy obsession, I feel. Just look at video gamers, athletes, artists, musicians or writers. Eating certain foods in moderation is proving to be an national challenge but so is social media use.

  • Aniutek Reply

    That’s one of the reasons why some criticise internet and social media, it’s probably their biggest argument- social media are anti-social. I guess there will always be two camps- pro and against. Those who are against will tell stories about broken relationships, lost friendships and jobs- all because of social media. Those in the ‘pro’ camp will give a long list of examples of re- newed friendships, re- activated relationships and promotions at work. As you said, there have to be balance… And one have to be responsible and, what’s more important, reasonable while using social media. I’m not feeling great saying that, maybe because I’m here writing and my partner is preparing dinner after all day at work.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Well I’ve managed to stay very social offline as well, so in that sense I’ve balanced this “addiction” quite well. But the bit about your partner preparing dinner after a long day at work while you’re writing a comment online reflects precisely my dilemma. As is true with anything in life, there is a good and a bad. Any passion can lead to unhealthy obsession, I feel. Just look at video gamers, athletes, artists, musicians or writers. Eating certain foods in moderation is proving to be an national challenge but so is social media use.

  • Walter Reply

    I hope you’ll find that balance soon. In my case, I schedule my time with the people I care about and my internet activity. Most of the time, I try to be sensitive of the need of my family; when I sense that my wife needs me, I stop what I’m doing with the internet and attend to her needs, afterward I resume. I came to believe that if our loved one’s feel loved, we’ll have no problem following our passion. :-)

  • Walter Reply

    I hope you’ll find that balance soon. In my case, I schedule my time with the people I care about and my internet activity. Most of the time, I try to be sensitive of the need of my family; when I sense that my wife needs me, I stop what I’m doing with the internet and attend to her needs, afterward I resume. I came to believe that if our loved one’s feel loved, we’ll have no problem following our passion. :-)

  • Jen Reply

    Matt, thank you for featuring this guest post. Lindsey, thank you for sharing your personal story with us. I struggle with this exact same thing! My boyfriend doesn’t blog, and he thinks it’s downright sketchy that I’m so into it. I think he feels the same way your husband does; he feels neglected when he gets home from a long day at work and we sit down to watch TV together, and I’m reading/writing blogs. You are so right about the balance; I’ve tried to minimize my blogging to while he is still at work or busy doing his own thing, but it’s hard! As it is, I haven’t checked Twitter or Facebook in over three days, and I’m struggling! LOL… Kinda sad.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Not sad, a reality! I hope he is at least supportive of your blogging!

  • Jen Reply

    Matt, thank you for featuring this guest post. Lindsey, thank you for sharing your personal story with us. I struggle with this exact same thing! My boyfriend doesn’t blog, and he thinks it’s downright sketchy that I’m so into it. I think he feels the same way your husband does; he feels neglected when he gets home from a long day at work and we sit down to watch TV together, and I’m reading/writing blogs. You are so right about the balance; I’ve tried to minimize my blogging to while he is still at work or busy doing his own thing, but it’s hard! As it is, I haven’t checked Twitter or Facebook in over three days, and I’m struggling! LOL… Kinda sad.

    • Lindsey Reply

      Not sad, a reality! I hope he is at least supportive of your blogging!

  • Jen Reply

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lindsey. I can identify with what you shared. I do feel withdrawal at times if I am not on social media for a while and am striving to find that balance in my own life. My husband and I have a ‘no technology’ weekend which though scary for me at first, I quite like now. It’s helped me fous on other things rather than just reaching for the laptop. We try and set times for different things when we are at home together to keep that balance.

    • Lindsey Reply

      WOW a no technology weekend, that is definitely courageous! I bet it has brought you both closer though. I admire that!

  • Jen Reply

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lindsey. I can identify with what you shared. I do feel withdrawal at times if I am not on social media for a while and am striving to find that balance in my own life. My husband and I have a ‘no technology’ weekend which though scary for me at first, I quite like now. It’s helped me fous on other things rather than just reaching for the laptop. We try and set times for different things when we are at home together to keep that balance.

    • Lindsey Reply

      WOW a no technology weekend, that is definitely courageous! I bet it has brought you both closer though. I admire that!

  • JONNY | thelifething.com Reply

    Thank goodness this was a guest post, I thought you had fallen out of love with me again.

  • JONNY | thelifething.com Reply

    Thank goodness this was a guest post, I thought you had fallen out of love with me again.

  • Andi Reply

    I have a non-blogging, non-social media (except for Linkedin) spouse who happens to be French as is super sensitive to privacy. He does not understand how I might want to share life for all to read, but he does understand that I am so much more happier since I started blogging. That I found a creative release that I need and fulfills me. I am an introvert and social media allows me to be extroverted in a way that I could never be in person. My husband who is an extrovert and needs to go out and talk to me understands that I get the same from blogging and twitter. There are times when he feels I am spending too much time on my laptop, in which I will immediately shut it down and focus on him. I have also said that if he ever thought that blogging was more important than him, that I would give up my blog no questions asked, fortunately that has not been necessary!

  • Andi Reply

    I have a non-blogging, non-social media (except for Linkedin) spouse who happens to be French as is super sensitive to privacy. He does not understand how I might want to share life for all to read, but he does understand that I am so much more happier since I started blogging. That I found a creative release that I need and fulfills me. I am an introvert and social media allows me to be extroverted in a way that I could never be in person. My husband who is an extrovert and needs to go out and talk to me understands that I get the same from blogging and twitter. There are times when he feels I am spending too much time on my laptop, in which I will immediately shut it down and focus on him. I have also said that if he ever thought that blogging was more important than him, that I would give up my blog no questions asked, fortunately that has not been necessary!

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    Well first of all, Lindsey, I'm so far behind in adding my two cents here – but I want to thank you again for writing this post. It's SO relevant to so many people. I've seen over and over again this pattern of one person being online and one person…well…not in the relationship. My fiance and I are that way to a tee – and it IS hard, it is a challenge – she works a nine to five and when she comes home, the work is over – she can actually leave it at work – me – the work honestly never stops (which I know is not a good thing) – but over the past year I've been scrambling to find work, working while freelancing on the side, and now hustling every day to get my own business off the ground.

    It's exhausting, and it's tough because while I'd love to be able to sit back and unplug, there are times (often) when I feel like I can't. The thing I have to remind myself and continue to remind myself is that I CAN – that I don't always have to be plugged in – that things will still be here when I come back and I can take a break every now and then.

    Thank you again for writing this Lindsey – you hit the nail on the head with something that isn't often talked about.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    That's a good place to be Andi. It's a scary place when your online world takes over the offline – you always have to remember your priorities. There have been plenty of tough times for me as well – but over time I've really been able to show my fiance that the time I've spent online has not been a waste, I'm not just screwing around – There are so many “tangible” things I can point to at this point and now, she's very much on board with everything I'm doing. Thanks for the comment!

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    Fallen out of love with you Johnny? Come on man – never gonna' happen. :)

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    I tend to do that often as well Jen – if not giving up tech entirely for the weekend, I do take a huge step back on the weekends and unplug. I really NEED that to recharge the batteries – without a break, it's easy to get extremely burned out.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    I know how it is Jen – Lierin (my fiance) has questioned the value of what I'm doing online in the past but you have to understand that there are a lot of people who just have a totally different philosophy. I grew up on tech and using the Internet whereas she didn't even have the Internet at home until she was in high-school. However you want to phrase it, it's become an integral part of my life and now a part of my passion – I love writing and I'm passionate about the work I'm doing. Once she started to see the fruits of my labor, her doubts and objections went away.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    It's addictive, plain and simple. Like video games, going to Starbucks every other day, etc – it's an addictive habit that's hard to break. There are times when I wish I could just cut it off cold turkey but I continue to see so much GOOD coming from my time spent here – and THAT'S honestly the reason that I keep coming back for more and more – that I need my “fix”.

    Re-reading this comment, I realize that I may sound slightly insane claiming that I need my “Social Media fix” haha :)

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    And this is where the money's at. Social Media is great – but it's a tool – one of many, but a great one at establishing that first point of contact that leads to a real-life connection, relationship, or friendship – and then, once that real life connection is made, Social Media is great at extending and keeping that connection strong over time. It's the new wave of both friendship (nearly every friend I have here in Chicago – an entirely new city for me – I met online first) and it's the future of the way we do business, find clients, build customer relationships, etc.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    And you'll get there Lindsey – achieving that balance is a work in progress. Do you find that your husband is WANTING to get more involved or does he just want YOU to be less involved? I find the latter often with my fiancé – she doesn't care about jumping into a conversation on my blog or getting on Twitter, but I'm sure she'd like ME to spend less time doing it…

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    Agree Lindsey – addiction to the Internet is real and out there. And Derek, as you mentioned, an addiction is something that is harmful to your health or has a negative impact on your life. One has to look no further than John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston (yes, I'm pulling out celeb trivia for the first time ever) when it comes to how something like Twitter can lead to a broken relationship. If you're spending more time online than with the people you love – that's a problem, it's unhealthy, and can really have a negative impact on your relationships and own well being. You've got to know when to step away before you reach that point – which can be easier said than done.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    Haha – I feel like smart phones will be the death of us! Thankfully, I am pretty old school when it comes to my phone – I primarily use it to, you know, make phone calls. Maybe it's because I have a BB and not an Iphone like the rest of the world so browsing the web sucks – but usually while I'm “out” I can unplug and not be distracted by stuff online. And honestly, especially now that I work from home, getting out in the evening, grabbing dinner, going to see a movie, grabbing a drink with friends, that's what I'm doing more and more so I can pull myself away from the computer.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    And this is why I'm SO thankful to be engaged to someone who ISN'T engrossed in the online world. As involved as I am on the web, I need someone to grab me by the ear and tell me to let it go :) That balance is one of the things I really love about my relationship with Lierin.

  • LostInCheeseland Reply

    YES exactly, he just wants me to be less involved, despite how much he IS proud of what I'm doing. It's just so hard for him to understand, as you see!

  • LostInCheeseland Reply

    I took one for the team, as they say!

  • dricsou Reply

    This is a great idea actually ! As previously mentioned in older posts I am not reluctant to having you writing posts about what you like/love as I know you enjoy it very much. What I find more difficult to accept is that this “blogging time” is taken out of our private time as a couple.

    I just wanted to let you now that I AM proud of you, I really enjoy reading your posts as other bloggers do apparently. And I enjoy even more spending some quality time with you.

  • LostInCheeseland Reply

    I know Ced. We'll figure out a balance.

  • Matt Cheuvront Reply

    Great to see Ms. (and Mr.) Cheeseland bonding here at Life Without Pants. And still laughing that you actually signed in as “Mr. Cheeseland”. :)

  • LostInCheeseland Reply

    Public therapy? lol

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