Comments on: Generation Y Independence: Mission Impossible? http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/ Perspective on life less restricted Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:39:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nicholasitalia2000http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-29340 Nicholasitalia2000 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:46:05 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-29340 I really wish I could leave the home. I have a good part time job that happens to pay VERY WELL: $15.00 an hour! (I will not tell you what my average paychek is. Of course it is not huge, but it is sufficient) This is not normal for most part time jobs, which pay little more than minimum wage. I also play piano at a bar on the weekends (which is what I really want to do with my life; I see my "wage job" as the "other job,") and I get variable tip rates for that- the most I ever made was $45.00. Of course, that was on Halloween, so of course the restaurant was crowded. Lucky Saturday! On the other hand, sometimes I make only $5.00, if barely anyone is there. <br>But I have a problem that really sucks. I am epileptic. Yes, I have seizures. I have not had any in a while (about 6 months- that is a lot better than it used to be!) I take strong medicine for my epilepsy. Not all medication worked well, I had to experiment. <br>Nonetheless, my parents are very afraid of my leaving the home. Even if I can turn my $15.00-an-hour part time job into a full time job, which I want to do, I know my parents will not let me leave the house if I could. I beg my mother to let me ride the subway by myself (She lets me ride the bus by myself), but she will not let me. I live in New York, which is very expensive and turning into the city-for-the-rich. <br>Will I ever move out? I certainly hope so. I just turned 29 years old, and I manage my expenses as best I can. I pay my parents $100.00 a month in return for letting me stay. I really wish I could leave the home. I have a good part time job that happens to pay VERY WELL: $15.00 an hour! (I will not tell you what my average paychek is. Of course it is not huge, but it is sufficient) This is not normal for most part time jobs, which pay little more than minimum wage. I also play piano at a bar on the weekends (which is what I really want to do with my life; I see my “wage job” as the “other job,”) and I get variable tip rates for that- the most I ever made was $45.00. Of course, that was on Halloween, so of course the restaurant was crowded. Lucky Saturday! On the other hand, sometimes I make only $5.00, if barely anyone is there.
But I have a problem that really sucks. I am epileptic. Yes, I have seizures. I have not had any in a while (about 6 months- that is a lot better than it used to be!) I take strong medicine for my epilepsy. Not all medication worked well, I had to experiment.
Nonetheless, my parents are very afraid of my leaving the home. Even if I can turn my $15.00-an-hour part time job into a full time job, which I want to do, I know my parents will not let me leave the house if I could. I beg my mother to let me ride the subway by myself (She lets me ride the bus by myself), but she will not let me. I live in New York, which is very expensive and turning into the city-for-the-rich.
Will I ever move out? I certainly hope so. I just turned 29 years old, and I manage my expenses as best I can. I pay my parents $100.00 a month in return for letting me stay.

]]> By: Matthttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-533 Matt Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:26:02 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-533 Hey Suzanne - missed you around here lately, thanks for jumping in to this conversation. You give a parental perspective that is very much needed in this discussion. I agree with you that there is a fine line between parenting and 'coddling'. How do you know when you should push your children away? How do you know when to put your foot down? It's a very difficult decision for any parent I'm sure.I completely understand letting your children move back home in allowing them to get their feet on the ground. Or, if there is a situation where my children are REALLY struggling, I would of course welcome them home as a temporary aid - but the key word is <b>temporary.</b> While my home will always be a home to my children, I plan to enforce personal responsibility and the importance of independence, and encourage them to be out on their own once they're done with school. I'm living proof that it's possible. Difficult at times, but possible. Hey Suzanne – missed you around here lately, thanks for jumping in to this conversation. You give a parental perspective that is very much needed in this discussion. I agree with you that there is a fine line between parenting and ‘coddling’. How do you know when you should push your children away? How do you know when to put your foot down? It’s a very difficult decision for any parent I’m sure.

I completely understand letting your children move back home in allowing them to get their feet on the ground. Or, if there is a situation where my children are REALLY struggling, I would of course welcome them home as a temporary aid – but the key word is temporary. While my home will always be a home to my children, I plan to enforce personal responsibility and the importance of independence, and encourage them to be out on their own once they’re done with school. I’m living proof that it’s possible. Difficult at times, but possible.

]]> By: Matthttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-30075 Matt Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:26:00 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-30075 Hey Suzanne - missed you around here lately, thanks for jumping in to this conversation. You give a parental perspective that is very much needed in this discussion. I agree with you that there is a fine line between parenting and 'coddling'. How do you know when you should push your children away? How do you know when to put your foot down? It's a very difficult decision for any parent I'm sure.I completely understand letting your children move back home in allowing them to get their feet on the ground. Or, if there is a situation where my children are REALLY struggling, I would of course welcome them home as a temporary aid - but the key word is <b>temporary.</b> While my home will always be a home to my children, I plan to enforce personal responsibility and the importance of independence, and encourage them to be out on their own once they're done with school. I'm living proof that it's possible. Difficult at times, but possible. Hey Suzanne – missed you around here lately, thanks for jumping in to this conversation. You give a parental perspective that is very much needed in this discussion. I agree with you that there is a fine line between parenting and ‘coddling’. How do you know when you should push your children away? How do you know when to put your foot down? It’s a very difficult decision for any parent I’m sure.

I completely understand letting your children move back home in allowing them to get their feet on the ground. Or, if there is a situation where my children are REALLY struggling, I would of course welcome them home as a temporary aid – but the key word is temporary. While my home will always be a home to my children, I plan to enforce personal responsibility and the importance of independence, and encourage them to be out on their own once they’re done with school. I’m living proof that it’s possible. Difficult at times, but possible.

]]> By: Suzannehttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-515 Suzanne Sat, 18 Apr 2009 14:22:54 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-515 I have a 30 year old son that has moved back home twice since high school. Once after his stint in the Marines, and then again after he graduated from college. My daughter moved back home after college as well. For my daughter, it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was able to get her bearings and after a year move out and attend grad school. She's been on her own eversince. She just bought her first home. My son on the other hand, has never recovered from "needing" that crutch. Unfortunately he needs to move back home, but is stubbornly refusing to do so.This generation is not as self-sufficient as the past generations have been. I moved out at 18 when I got married. The option to return home was never even in my mind. Yes we had some tough early year marriage times, but neither of us even dreamed of moving back home. I think parents (me included)in an attempt to "help" our kids sometimes hinder them. I know I've hindered my son by enabling him and allowing him to use me as a crutch. It's a fine line between parenting and coddling. A very fine line. I have a 30 year old son that has moved back home twice since high school. Once after his stint in the Marines, and then again after he graduated from college. My daughter moved back home after college as well. For my daughter, it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was able to get her bearings and after a year move out and attend grad school. She’s been on her own eversince. She just bought her first home. My son on the other hand, has never recovered from “needing” that crutch. Unfortunately he needs to move back home, but is stubbornly refusing to do so.

This generation is not as self-sufficient as the past generations have been. I moved out at 18 when I got married. The option to return home was never even in my mind. Yes we had some tough early year marriage times, but neither of us even dreamed of moving back home. I think parents (me included)in an attempt to “help” our kids sometimes hinder them. I know I’ve hindered my son by enabling him and allowing him to use me as a crutch. It’s a fine line between parenting and coddling. A very fine line.

]]> By: Suzannehttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-30074 Suzanne Sat, 18 Apr 2009 14:22:00 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-30074 I have a 30 year old son that has moved back home twice since high school. Once after his stint in the Marines, and then again after he graduated from college. My daughter moved back home after college as well. For my daughter, it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was able to get her bearings and after a year move out and attend grad school. She's been on her own eversince. She just bought her first home. My son on the other hand, has never recovered from "needing" that crutch. Unfortunately he needs to move back home, but is stubbornly refusing to do so.This generation is not as self-sufficient as the past generations have been. I moved out at 18 when I got married. The option to return home was never even in my mind. Yes we had some tough early year marriage times, but neither of us even dreamed of moving back home. I think parents (me included)in an attempt to "help" our kids sometimes hinder them. I know I've hindered my son by enabling him and allowing him to use me as a crutch. It's a fine line between parenting and coddling. A very fine line. I have a 30 year old son that has moved back home twice since high school. Once after his stint in the Marines, and then again after he graduated from college. My daughter moved back home after college as well. For my daughter, it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was able to get her bearings and after a year move out and attend grad school. She’s been on her own eversince. She just bought her first home. My son on the other hand, has never recovered from “needing” that crutch. Unfortunately he needs to move back home, but is stubbornly refusing to do so.

This generation is not as self-sufficient as the past generations have been. I moved out at 18 when I got married. The option to return home was never even in my mind. Yes we had some tough early year marriage times, but neither of us even dreamed of moving back home. I think parents (me included)in an attempt to “help” our kids sometimes hinder them. I know I’ve hindered my son by enabling him and allowing him to use me as a crutch. It’s a fine line between parenting and coddling. A very fine line.

]]> By: Matthttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-496 Matt Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:52:06 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-496 That's awesome man - if you can do it, I definitely would try to make that investment - it will more than pay off in the long run! That’s awesome man – if you can do it, I definitely would try to make that investment – it will more than pay off in the long run!

]]> By: Matthttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-30073 Matt Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:52:00 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-30073 That's awesome man - if you can do it, I definitely would try to make that investment - it will more than pay off in the long run! That’s awesome man – if you can do it, I definitely would try to make that investment – it will more than pay off in the long run!

]]> By: rikinhttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-485 rikin Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:47:59 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-485 Well luckily I have an older more established partner in this endeavor. My parents cut me off a while ago so unfortunately no turning there.I'm in a possible position to buy but be extremely budgeted moving forward - I think though that the timing and the economy is right so it might be time to suck up my social life and a few luxuries and invest. Well luckily I have an older more established partner in this endeavor. My parents cut me off a while ago so unfortunately no turning there.

I’m in a possible position to buy but be extremely budgeted moving forward – I think though that the timing and the economy is right so it might be time to suck up my social life and a few luxuries and invest.

]]> By: rikinhttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-30072 rikin Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:47:00 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-30072 Well luckily I have an older more established partner in this endeavor. My parents cut me off a while ago so unfortunately no turning there.I'm in a possible position to buy but be extremely budgeted moving forward - I think though that the timing and the economy is right so it might be time to suck up my social life and a few luxuries and invest. Well luckily I have an older more established partner in this endeavor. My parents cut me off a while ago so unfortunately no turning there.

I’m in a possible position to buy but be extremely budgeted moving forward – I think though that the timing and the economy is right so it might be time to suck up my social life and a few luxuries and invest.

]]> By: Matthttp://www.lifewithoutpants.com/generation-y/generation-y-independence-mission-impossible/#comment-483 Matt Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:18:56 +0000 http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/?p=1123#comment-483 Agreed <b>Eva</b> - I am with you in that I believe everyone has a choice - very few are FORCED to move back home - moving home and saving money or staying on your own and taking out loans if necessary - I can't say which is 'better' because I don't think there is a better choice - that's a personal decision that only you can make. But in the end, it's still a choice. Agreed Eva – I am with you in that I believe everyone has a choice – very few are FORCED to move back home – moving home and saving money or staying on your own and taking out loans if necessary – I can’t say which is ‘better’ because I don’t think there is a better choice – that’s a personal decision that only you can make. But in the end, it’s still a choice.

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